Batman vs. Iron Man: Super Heroes or Super Divas

Katie Baker —  July 17, 2012

My original idea for this BatWeek post was more of a “who would win in a fight, Batman or Iron Man?” type thing but we all know that Iron Man would mop the floor with Batman without even breaking a sweat.

First Iron Man would verbally annihilate poor Batsy with is rapier wit. Then once the great big bat stopped crying Iron Man would just shoot one of his tiny missiles at the big baby… uh I mean Bat, and then call it a day.

The “fight” if you could even call it that would be over too quickly which makes for uninteresting reading so I’m going in a different direction.

Disclaimer

I am a big fan of Batman and even more so of Iron Man. I mean these heroes and their fans no offense so don’t get mad at what you’re about to read. I am, however not a fan of the over privileged, spoiled rotten, famous for being famous, good for nothing, celebritards I am about to compare them to.

So if you are a fan of Paris Hilton or any of the Kardashians I suggest you just stop reading now. Seriously, get off my blog!

Not So Super Super Heroes

Batman and Iron Man are both powerful, epic heroes but can they really be considered “super” if they have no super powers? Spider-Man, Superman, The Hulk, Thor, The X-Men, Captain America, even lame-o Aquaman all have super powers.

These 2 just got bored one day, built some cool gadgets, and decided on vigilante justice as a suitable hobby because, why the heck not?

I know another “hero” who tried that same thing. His name was Incrediboy… excuse me, Syndrome and things did not work out so well for him.

Super Heroes & Celebritards

The problem I have with this is the men behind the masks are really nothing more than over sexed, self absorbed, playboys with daddy issues.They have way too much money and way too much time on their hands. This does not make for great super heroes or role models.

While their causes are noble I can’t help but see the similarities between them and the train wrecks we know as the Kardashians.

Let’s break this down, shall we?

The Breakdown

Paris & Kim

  • Famous for nothing.
  • Heirs to their parent’s fortune.
  • They plaster their names on large buildings.
  • They dress up in outlandish outfits.
  • Throw unnecessarily big parties.
  • Have drinking problems.
  • Sex tapes

Tony & Bruce

  • Famous for nothing.
  • Heirs to their parent’s fortune.
  • They plaster their names on large buildings (overcompensating?)
  • They dress up in outlandish outfits.
  • Throw unnecessarily big parties.
  • Have drinking problems.
  • There is no evidence of a sex tape for either but you know there’s at least one out there somewhere that is just waiting to surface.

Yes, Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark are both highly intelligent, crime fighting, heroes just trying to make the world a safer place but if every Miss America pageant contestant gets there greatest wish of world peace, these two will have excellent careers in reality television.

I would watch the mess out of that show!

So who would win in a fight, Kim or Paris?

Katie Baker

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Katie was born and raised on the beautiful islands of Hawaii. She thinks all dogs are boys, all cats are girls, and all giraffes are French.

2 responses to Batman vs. Iron Man: Super Heroes or Super Divas

  1. Two corrections… Tony is famous for being a total tech genius. And Bruce doesn’t have a drinking problem.

    Other than that… BATMAN WOULD TOTALLY WIN THE FIGHT.

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