We’re being assaulted, fellow nerds. The world, as we know it, is slowly falling into the hands of one man: J.J. Abrams.

See that picture of him? He’s plotting our demise. He’s trying to telepathically blow our minds.

He inched his way into the business, trying to draw little attention to himself in comedy and drama, writing movies like Taking Care of Business, Regarding Henry, Forever Young, and Gone Fishin’. (Yes, he co-wrote that stinker.) We were so unsuspecting…

He continued to throw us off track by working with people like Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay. And he created the well known chick drama, Felicity. He started his sneak attack when he created Alias and co-created Lost. Those aren’t straight up nerd shows. But they came alongside the nerd community, started the conversation, if you will.

Abrams made his big move when he directed an undeniably good Mission Impossible III, capturing our imaginations for what this great director could do especially with a lagging series. Then came the sci-fi series Fringe. Before we knew what was happening, Abrams was crowned nerd king when he was given the reigns to Star Trek.

See what I mean? Slow, methodical takeover.

To really set the hook, Abrams even directed a nerdgasm called Super 8. Every geek’s fantasy. Group of outcast, nerdy filmmakers. Sensitive, shy guy. Beautiful, broken girl. And a giant monster.

So what now?

We all knew he was directing the follow-up to Star Trek, Into the Darkness. And even with his intense rules about the mystery of a production, we all knew he blatantly decided to use the biggest Star Trek villain in the ‘verse: Khan.

Was that enough? No!! He had to take on the biggest sci-fi/fantasy series out there!


My fellow nerds, I’m afraid we’ve lost the war. Soon, every nerdy movie will be produced and/or written and/or directed by this man. He’s even gotten his meat hooks into Portal and Half-Life 2. Gamers, he’s moving in on you too! I bet he’d bring back Firefly! Without Joss! And Fox would keep it! They kept Fringe! What’s next?? Doctor Who??

There are other perfectly wonderful, nerdy writers and directors out there. Joss Whedon! Jon Favreau! Steven Moffat! Nathan Fillion!

Yeah, I know Nathan Fillion isn’t a writer or director. Not now. But we’ll never know if we don’t give him a chance!!

C’mon nerds! Unite! Just say no to Jar-Jar Abrams!

Even Shatner agrees!!

(Note: I don’t actually subscribe to these views. I love J.J. Abrams. Abrams is a nerd god. I will follow him forever. And ever. And ever…)

What do you think of Abrams taking on Star Wars? And his total domination of nerdom?

Jess Adducci

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Jess wrestles through story as a screenwriter & director. She's a sci-fi/fantasy nerd, archery champion, and big kid.

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