Archives For Twilight

I used to read books. I used to draw and paint. Every once in awhile, I even went outside. But that was when I didn’t have a laptop. And internet. No matter what I say or do, my time in front of a computer screen takes up no less than 5 minutes and often exceeds hours. It’s not healthy, as my growing rear-end can attest. 

Thankfully, I’ve found a number of “healthy reasons” to justify parking my behind at my desk. Educating myself on the intricacies of steampunk, the second industrial revolution, air ships, and the narcissistic personality disorder. Plumbing the depths of a sea of artists and their work. Watching Felicia Day try to practice parkour.

…yeah. That last one isn’t as “educational” as the rest, but it’s entertaining as all get out.
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It’s finally here! The final installment of the Twilight Saga will be released in theaters November 16th, 2012. Breaking Dawn Pt 2 is supposed to be the epic finale we have all been waiting for but for those of us who remember the end of the book would not exactly describe it as epic. Basically the bad guys show up to kill the good guys, they talk it out, settle their differences, and then just go home. The end. Yea, you don’t get a spoiler alert here. If you haven’t read the book it’s your own fault.

So for those of you that have already begun lining up at the theater to get your tickets or for those who just want a good laugh, here are my top 4 1/2 favorite Twilight spoofs for your viewing pleasure.

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Everybody shut up! Shut up, Lutz! I have a very important question to ask you. Betcha can’t guess what it is… Hint, it’s in the title. That’s right folks, it’s time to end the age-old debate once and for all. Is going to the movies alone a sad, lonely, and embarrassing pastime? Or is it a great way to say “screw you and your rules” to society and do what you want?!

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I’ve always been one to fight against any grown-up who says that movies and music rot your brain, but now that I am a grown-up I’m beginning to wonder if maybe they were right. Man, I’m old!

I can understand how one great movie can change the face of cinema or how one great song can become a call to action, but to allow yourself to get so lost in it that you lose touch with reality is something I will never understand. It’s gotten a bit out of control, especially with teenagers. Listen up kids, there’s a fine line between being a fan and being obsessed. I highly recommend learning the difference.

Let me give you some examples:

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The 7th season of Dr. Who just began and I could not be more excited. I love this show. If you haven’t seen it then I’m going to have to ask you to crawl out from under that rock you’ve been living under and go find a television. This is the very definition of must see TV!

I have heard rumors though (don’t worry, no spoilers here). The rumor is that this is Matt Smith’s last season, which means it’s time to find the next Doctor. So who’s it gonna be? Below are my top 5 potential Doctors in no particular order:

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There are so many vampires in our culture right now that I can’t even keep track. However, pre-Twilight frenzy, there was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which is one of the better vampire stories out there. The genius creator Joss Whedon is a master mind at creating characters that we all fall in love with, and it always keep us coming back for more.

His vampires are no less complex than the humans in this series, and all the Buffy fans have participated in the debate for the past several years about which vampire was superior: Spike or Angel? Let’s take a look at them both up close and settle this debate once and for all.

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I’m going to go ahead and take a stand and say that I think Kristen Stewart sucks. I really liked Snow White and the Huntsman, and I think the performances were all pretty strong…except for Snow White, the main character of the movie!

I get why she was probably cast. Movie making is a business, and unfortunately because of her horrible contribution to the Twilight films, her addition to the film can almost guarantee a certain age bracket.

But Kristen Stewart as Snow White?! Really guys??? Continue Reading…

I just read an article that Robert Pattinson is being considered for the role of Finnick Odair in Catching Fire. This cannot be allowed to happen! Let me tell you why.

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Does anyone else feel like most movies are missing the mark these days? Almost every time I go to the theater, I feel like I am being robbed of both my time and of money. I sit there wondering whether these filmmakers even tried to make a compelling movie. It’s more about making money than anything else, and I hate that the big film companies know that they don’t have to make a good movie to make a huge profit. Continue Reading…

OK, so I just saw the full trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman, and at first glance it looks great! I would typically be really excited about this film, but Kristen Stewart is playing Snow White. I just don’t understand what Hollywood sees in this girl. I get that she is stunningly beautiful and thin, which is all you really need nowadays to make a name for yourself, but she is not leading lady material. Continue Reading…