So, who here knows who Gary Oldman is? I’ll give you a hint. He’s in nearly every movie ever made. Still not ringing a bell? How about Sid & Nancy, Henry & June, Dracula, The Fifth Element, Air Force One, Lost in Space, The Dark Knight, and Harry Potter just to name a small few?

How is it possible that this one man has been in some of the biggest movies in the world. and yet the world does not know who he is? I have a couple of theories on this:

He Cannot Be Typecast

With most actors you can tell what kind of movie they will be in just by looking at them. For example; Julia Roberts can only ever be in romantic comedies where she can fall on a bed, laughing obnoxiously, with her big ginger hair. Michael Cera will only ever be great in indie flicks where he can be the awkward weirdo who somehow, despite his looks, always gets the girl. Robert Pattinson can only be in dark movies where he can be depressing and brooding because chicks dig sad, unwashed, British men.

Robert Pattinson Sydney Photocall
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Gary, on the other hand, is impossible to typecast. The man can play any character. He’s been a meth’d out rock star, a southern-twanged, intergalactic bad guy, a very convincing Russian terrorist, a hairy wizard with really bad teeth, and a butt-shape-haired vampire so terrifying that if you saw him in person you would most definitely pee. You would pee forever.

I think he’s even been a white Jamaican pimp. Now that’s talent.

He Cannot Be Remembered

Did you know that for all the hugely successful films Gary has been in he has never won an Oscar?! I believe this is because the Academy cannot hand out awards to people who do not exist. Why is that no one ever notices when he is in a movie until the end credits when they see his name scroll by? Then there’s that “What the crap, Gary Oldman was in this movie?!” moment. It happens to me every time.

He is somehow able to become the character he is playing so completely that you stop seeing Gary Oldman and just see the character. This is a rare gift among actors. It’s not even that they plaster him in makeup or prosthetics. His performance forces you to believe that this fictional man on the screen is real and Gary just disappears.

He Cannot Be Real

There can only be two rational, non-exaggerated, logical explanations as to how this is possible:

1st: Gary Oldman is a hologram. They made Tupac come to back to life pretty convincingly at Coachella last year. So I believe this is how he is able to become so many different characters. Gary Oldman is not the name of the man but rather of a computer program.

2nd: The Matrix is real, we’re all in it, and Gary Oldman is like an Agent Smith. He can be anyone, anywhere, at anytime. There are millions of him and his primary objectves are to first, entertain, and second, keep us all trapped in this computer generated world. But if I’ve learned one thing from The Matrix it’s that reality sucks. The program is prettier and the food’s better so personally, I’m sticking with option #2.

What film do you know Gary Oldman from?

Katie Baker

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Katie was born and raised on the beautiful islands of Hawaii. She thinks all dogs are boys, all cats are girls, and all giraffes are French.

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