Seriously, where did he go? I was such a fan of He-Man as kid. I’m girl, so naturally my attention turned to different forms of entertainment, but I never forgot about him.

I’ve wondered lately why some super heroes make it to the big time and some don’t. What makes Superman so special? He-Man is super strong and fast and has even been known to fly on occasion. What’s the difference?

It’s the hair isn’t it?

While He-Man and Superman are extremely similar, there are a few key differences that I think could be the reason He-Man is the lesser of the two. Heck, even Aquaman is more popular than He-Man!

A super hero’s hair may seem of little importance, but I believe it can make or break the man. Superman had great style with his slick black hair and chiseled features. Even as Clark Kent he rocked that suit and hipster glasses.

The same can’t be said for He-Man. What were his animators thinking when they gave him that chin length, ugly, blond hair? It is not the right style for his already round, fat, face. His little red speedos weren’t doing him any favors either. As Prince Adam he wore a pink blouse, purple tights, and fur-lined boots! He wasn’t exactly dressed for success.

The say the clothes make the man. Mattel did this proud hero a huge disservice by dressing him like a broken down drag queen.

Didn’t make the cut.

He-Man is like an American Idol reject. On the day of the DC Comic hero auditions, He-Man shows up spouting off his “by the power of Castle Grayskull” nonsense and was immediately kicked to the curb. He was probably laughed out of the Marvel auditions as well. The only job he could land was with Mattel.

He had a good run, though. He even managed to exceed the allotted 15 minutes of fame. But as it happens, he faded back into the obscurity from whence he came.

Where is he now?

I’d like to think that he and She-Ra finally settled down, got married, and had a bunch of inappropriately buff children. I wonder if he and Skeletor were ever able to bury the hatchet and become friends. Maybe they joined a community bowling league with Captain Planet?

I hope they are content in their strange little world where they are free to dress as flamboyantly as they wish without any judgment or backlash from society. Or maybe He-Man is quietly reinventing himself and preparing for his triumphant return to mainstream media.

Quick! Someone call Christopher Nolan and his team to give He-Man a bad-ass Dark Knight makeover! Ooh I would watch the mess out of that movie!

Would you be excited for a modern day He-Man?

Katie Baker

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Katie was born and raised on the beautiful islands of Hawaii. She thinks all dogs are boys, all cats are girls, and all giraffes are French.

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